321. (4) People who before had lived with their partners in a state of truly conjugial love do not wish to marry again, except for reasons dissociated from conjugial love. People who before had lived in a state of truly conjugial love do not wish to marry again after the death of their partner for the following reasons:
1. Because they have been united in respect to their souls and so in respect to their minds; and this union, being a spiritual one, is an actual coupling of the soul and mind of one to the soul and mind of the other, which cannot in any way be dissolved. (That this is the nature of spiritual union we have already shown here and there previously.)  2. Because they have been united also in respect to their bodies, by the wife's reception of the propagations of the husband's soul, and thus by an implantation of his life in hers, by which a maiden becomes a wife; and conversely by the husband's reception of the wife's conjugial love, which disposes the inner faculties of his mind and at the same time the inner and outer faculties of his body into a state capable of receiving love and perceiving wisdom, a state which turns him from a youth into a husband (on which subject, see nos. 198, 199 above).  3. Because an atmosphere of her love continues to emanate from the wife, and an atmosphere of his intellect from the husband; and this perfects the bonds between them, and with its pleasant ambience surrounds them and unites them (again, see above, no. 223).  4. Because married partners so united think of and yearn for eternity in their marriage, and eternal happiness for them is founded on that idea (see no. 216).  5. Because in consequence of the foregoing they are no longer two but one person, that is, one flesh.  6. Because such a oneness cannot be sundered by the death of the other partner - a fact manifestly evident to visual sight in the spirit.  To these reasons we will add this new one:
7. Because the two are not actually separated by the death of one; for the spirit of the deceased continues to dwell with the spirit of the one not yet deceased, and this until the death of the other, at which time they come together again and are reunited, loving each other even more tenderly than before, because they are in the spiritual world. From these circumstances comes the following inevitable result, that people who before had lived in a state of truly conjugial love do not wish to marry again. If they nevertheless do afterwards enter into something like a marriage, it is for reasons dissociated from conjugial love; and these reasons are all external ones. As for example: If there are little children in the house and there is need to provide for their care. If the house is a large one, equipped with servants of both sexes. If responsibilities outside the house divert the mind from domestic concerns at home. If there is need for joint assistance and shared duties. And other like reasons.