22. [21.] In the cities of the Dutch the men live on one side and women on the other, and when the men want them, they send for the women and the women come-something which angers the women, that they must thus come at the bidding of a man. Women who in the world exercised control over their husbands, and finding it no longer possible for them to continue to do so, being incensed with indignation, also wish to leave the city. They are, moreover, allowed to go, but when they are outside the city there appears to them everywhere an obstacle and barrier-now a marshy one, now a watery one, now something else. For a long time they keep wandering thus and seeking a place by which to leave, and this to the point of exhaustion, on which account they are compelled to return to the city and go home, and so are corrected. The reason for this experience is that a desire to exercise control in marriage takes away married love*-a love which exists in married partners to the extent that a love of exercising control decreases. [As a love of exercising control decreases,] in its stead then comes love, and with love, delight of life, and then it is neither husband nor wife who rules but the Lord. This is the source of happiness in marriage. * Or, conjugial love.