What the state of a virgin is before she has been taught the facts about getting married was made plain to me by wives in the spiritual world, who had departed from the natural world as children and been brought up in heaven. They said that on reaching marriageable condition they began through watching married couples to love married life, but only in order to be called wives, to keep company in friendship and trust with one man, and also to be free of obedience at home and have control of their own lives. They said it was only the blessedness of friendship and mutual trust with a male consort that made them think about marriage, and there was not the slightest hint of the delight of any passion.

[2] The virgin state changed after being married to a new one, about which they had previously known nothing. This state, they said, was one in which everything to do with bodily life from first to last had extended so as to receive their husband's gifts and to unite them to their own life, thus becoming his love and a wife. This state began from the moment of being deflowered, and after this the passion of love blazed up directed towards their husband alone. This extension made them experience heavenly delights. Since the wife had been brought into this state by her husband, and since he is its source and it is thus his in her, it was obvious that she could love no one but him.

[3] These statements made it clear what is the state of virgins in heaven before and after marriage. It is not difficult to see that on earth the state of virgins and wives on first being married is similar. How can any virgin know that new state until she experiences it? Ask and you will be told. There is a difference in the case of those who before marriage have been taught how to lure men by enticing them.