THE LINK BETWEEN CONJUGIAL LOVE AND THE LOVE OF CHILDREN

There are indications which show that conjugial love and the love of children, what is called parental love, are linked. There are also indications which might lead people to believe that they are not linked. For the love of children exists in the case of married couples who have heartfelt love for each other, and also in the case of couples who at heart disagree; and also in the case of separated couples, and sometimes it is deeper and stronger in this case than the previous one. However, the source from which the love of children flows can prove that this is perpetually linked with conjugial love. Despite all the variation among those receiving them, these two loves remain indissolubly linked, exactly like the first aim in the final aim, which is the effect.

The first aim of conjugial love is the procreation of offspring; and the final aim, the effect, is the offspring procreated. The first aim extends into the effect, and resides in it as its nucleus, never leaving it. This can be seen by a rational inspection of the way aims and causes advance in due order to produce their effects. But since very many people are only able to reason beginning with effects, from which they proceed to some consequences, instead of starting with causes and proceeding by analysis to effects, and so on, the light shed by reason must inevitably turn into a dark cloud. As a result appearances and fallacies give rise to deviations from truths. To show that conjugial love and the love of children are inwardly linked, despite their outward dissociation, the proof will be given in the following order. (i) There are two universal spheres proceeding from the Lord designed to keep the universe in the condition in which it was created. One of these is the reproductive sphere, the other the sphere of the protection of what is procreated. (ii) These two universal spheres make one with the sphere of conjugial love and that of the love of children. (iii) These two spheres influence as a whole and in detail everything in heaven and in the world, from first to last. (iv) The sphere of the love of children is one which protects and supports those who are unable to protect and support themselves. (v) This sphere affects the wicked as well as the good, making every individual disposed to love, protect and support his own offspring as the result of his particular love. (vi) This sphere chiefly affects the female sex, that is, mothers, but is passed on by them to the male sex, that is, to fathers. (vii) This sphere is also one of innocence and peace coming from the Lord. (viii) The sphere of innocence influences and affects children and through them their parents. (ix) It also influences the souls of the parents, and links itself with the same sphere in children. It is above all by touch that it is instilled. (x) The more innocence in children withdraws, the more affection and linking decline; and this continues gradually until it results in separation. (xi) The state of innocence and peace felt by parents towards their children can be rationalised as the fact that by themselves they have no knowledge or ability, but they get these from others, chiefly their father and mother. This state too gradually declines, as they acquire knowledge and ability of their own, and not from their parents. (xii) This sphere advances in due order from its aim through its causes to its effects, and produces cycles of activity; by this means creation is maintained in the state foreseen and provided. (xiii) The love of children comes down, not up. (xiv) The state of love in wives is different before they conceive from what it is afterwards up to the time of birth. (xv) There are spiritual reasons, and hence natural ones, for the linking of the parents' conjugial love with their love of children. (xvi) The love of small and older children is different in the case of spiritual married couples and natural ones. (xvii) In the case of the spiritual that love comes from within or from what is prior, but in the case of the natural from without or what is posterior. (xviii) This is the reason for the existence of that love in the case of married couples who love each other, and also in the case of those who do not do so at all. (xix) The love of children survives after death, especially with women. (xx) Children are brought up by them under the Lord's guidance, and they grow in stature and intelligence as in the world. (xxi) It is provided there by the Lord that their innocence of childhood turns into the innocence of wisdom, so that children become angels.