Truly conjugial love links two people more and more into a single person; see above (178, 179). A wife becomes a wife by being linked with her husband and in proportion to this, likewise a husband with his wife; and truly conjugial love lasts for ever. It follows from these two facts that a wife becomes more and more a wife, and a husband more and more a husband. The real reason is that in a marriage of truly conjugial love each partner becomes a more and more inward person, for that love opens up the inner regions of their minds, and, as this happens, each becomes more and more a person. In the case of a wife becoming more a person means more a wife, and in the case of a husband more a husband.

I have heard from angels that a wife becomes more and more a wife as her husband becomes more and more a husband, but the reverse does not hold. This is because rarely, if ever, does a chaste wife fail to love her husband, but the husband may fail to love her in return. This is due to the lack of any raising of his wisdom, which is the only way he can receive his wife's love (on this wisdom see 130, 163-165). But these remarks were made about marriages on earth.