Conjugial Love (Rogers) n. 306

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306. (10) After the period of their betrothal has been completed, the wedding should take place. Some ceremonies are simply formalities, and some are at the same time also essential. Among the latter are weddings. To confirm that weddings are among those that are essential which ought to be duly witnessed and formally celebrated, we cite the following reasons:

1. A wedding marks the end of the former state inaugurated by betrothal, which was primarily a state of the spirit, and the beginning of the following state about to be inaugurated by marriage, which is a state simultaneously of the spirit and body; for the spirit then descends into the body and expresses itself there. Therefore on that day they put off the state and also the name of a couple engaged or promised, and take on the state and name of married partners and a couple united in the flesh. 2. A wedding introduces and initiates them into the new state, the effect of which is to encourage the young woman to become a wife and the young man a husband, that the two may become one flesh. These goals are achieved when they are united by love through its ultimate expressions. We have already shown in previous discussions that marriage actually transforms a maiden into a wife and a youth into a husband,* and also that marriage unites a couple into a single human form so that they are no longer two but one flesh.** 3. A wedding guides them to a complete separation of love for the opposite sex from conjugial love, a separation that is achieved when through full opportunity for conjunction the love of the one becomes exclusively devoted to the love of the other. 4. It seems in appearance as though weddings serve only to demarcate the point between the two aforementioned states, and thus that they are simply a formality which may be omitted. But there is in them also this further and essential element, and that is that the new state referred to must then be entered into by covenant, with the consent of the couple declared in the presence of witnesses, and that it must also be solemnized by a priest, among other things, which serve to firmly establish it. Since weddings include elements that are essential, and since a legitimate marriage is not formed until after them, therefore weddings are celebrated also in heaven, as may be seen above in no. 21, and after that in nos. 27-41. * See, for example, no. 199. ** See, for example, nos. 177, 178.


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