GENERALITIES ON THE SUBJECT OF MARRIAGE

If I were to record in detail all the many facts about marriage, this small work would grow into a large volume. For instance, I could talk about likeness and unlikeness in married partners; the way natural conjugial love is raised to become spiritual conjugial love, and how they are linked; how one declines as the other increases; the various types of both these forms of love, and how they differ; the intelligence of wives; the general sphere of marriage which radiates from heaven, and the opposing sphere from hell; how they exert their influence and are received; and many other subjects, which, if expounded in detail, would make this work into such a vast volume it would weary the reader. For this reason, and to avoid useless prolixity, I shall abbreviate these subjects into a chapter of generalities on the subject of marriage. These, as in previous chapters, will be divided into a series of propositions, as follows. (i) The sense which properly belongs to conjugial love is that of touch. (ii) In the case of those who enjoy truly conjugial love the ability to be wise increases, but in the case of those who do not, it decreases. (iii) In the case of those who enjoy truly conjugial love the joy of living together increases, but in the case of those who do not, it decreases. (iv) In the case of those who enjoy truly conjugial love the linking of minds increases, and so does friendship along with it, but in the case of those who do not, both of these decrease. (v) Those who enjoy truly conjugial love continually want to be a single person, but those who do not, want to be two people. (vi) Those who enjoy truly conjugial love have eternity in view in their marriage; but the reverse is true of those who do not. (vii) Conjugial love is lodged with chaste wives, but their love still depends upon their husbands. (viii) *Wives love the bonds of marriage provided their husbands do. (ix) The intelligence of women is in essence modest, refined, peaceful, yielding, gentle and tender; but that of men is in essence serious, harsh, hard, spirited and disposed to licence. (x) Wives do not share the arousal which men feel, but they have a state of readiness to receive. (xi) Men's potency is proportional to their love of propagating the truths of their wisdom, and to their love of performing services. (xii) Decisions [about making love]** must be left for the husband to make as he pleases. (xiii) There is a sphere of marriage which flows from the Lord through heaven into every detail of the universe, down to the most trivial. (xiv) This sphere is received by the female sex, and by them it is transferred to the male sex; but the reverse of this is not the case. (xv) Where truly conjugial love exists, this sphere is received by the wife and is only received by the husband through the wife. (xvi) Where conjugial love does not exist, this sphere is certainly received by the wife, but not by the husband through her. (xvii) Truly conjugial love can exist with one of a married couple and not at the same time with the other. (xviii) There are a number of [likenesses and]*** unlikenesses, both inward and outward, to be found among married couples. (xix) A number of likenesses can be linked, but not with unlikenesses. (xx) The Lord provides a likeness for those who desire truly conjugial love, and if this is impossible on earth, He provides for it in the heavens. (xxi) In so far as a person suffers failure or loss of conjugial love, he approximates to the nature of an animal.

Now follows the explanation of these propositions. * The items numbered (viii) and (ix) are reversed in the original, but presented in this order below, 217, 218. ** These words are not in the original, but the content of 221 shows that this is what is meant. *** These words are restored from 227.