Conjugial Love (Rogers) n. 423

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423. THE OPPOSITION OF LICENTIOUS LOVE TO CONJUGIAL LOVE

At this threshold we must first disclose what we mean in this chapter by licentious love. We do not mean the fornicatory love which precedes marriage, nor that which follows it after the death of one's partner; nor the taking of a mistress which is entered into for legitimate, just and weighty reasons. Nor do we mean the milder kinds of adultery, nor the more serious kinds of which a person actually repents; for the first are not opposed to conjugial love, and the latter do not become opposed. (That they are not opposed will be seen in discussions that follow, where each will be considered in turn.) But what we mean by licentious love that is opposed to conjugial love is a love of adultery, when it is of such a nature that it is not regarded as a sin, nor even as something evil and dishonorable contrary to reason, but as something permissible, in accord with reason. This kind of licentious love not only deems conjugial love to be no different from it, but also ruins it, destroys it, and finally loathes it. [2] The opposition of this love to conjugial love is the subject of this chapter. That no other love is meant can be seen from the subsequent chapters on fornication, the taking of a mistress, and the various kinds of adultery. To make this opposition evident to rational sight, however, it must be demonstrated according to the following outline:

(1) The nature of licentious love is not known unless the nature of conjugial love is known. (2) Licentious love is opposed to conjugial love. (3) Licentious love is opposed to conjugial love as one's natural self, regarded in itself, is opposed to one's spiritual self. (4) Licentious love is opposed to conjugial love as the connubial alliance of evil and falsity is opposed to the marriage of good and truth. (5) Thus licentious love is opposed to conjugial love as hell is opposed to heaven. (6) The uncleanness of hell springs from licentious love, and the cleanness of heaven from conjugial love. (7) So, too, uncleanness in the church, and cleanness in it. (8) Licentious love makes a person less and less human and less and less a man, while conjugial love makes a person more and more human and more and more a man. (9) There is an atmosphere of licentious love, and an atmosphere of conjugial love. (10) An atmosphere of licentious love ascends from hell, and an atmosphere of conjugial love descends from heaven. (11) In both worlds these two atmospheres meet, but do not combine together. (12) Between these two atmospheres there is an equilibrium, and mankind lives in it. (13) A person can turn himself in the direction of either atmosphere, but in the measure that he turns to one, in the same measure he turns away from the other. (14) Each atmosphere brings with it delights. (15) The delights of licentious love arise from the flesh, and are delights of the flesh even in the spirit; while the delights of conjugial love arise in the spirit, and are delights of the spirit even in the flesh. (16) The delights of licentious love are pleasures of insanity, whereas the delights of conjugial love are delights of wisdom.

Explanation of these statements now follows.


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